age: 21
race/ ethnicity: yellow
gender: young phenomenal woman
religion: protestant, but church is a joke.
When and how did you first decide you were a heterosexual?: Hmm. While my community is not as uptight as really uptight communities can be about homosexuality, like about 99% of the rest of this country, the environment I was in never gave me the opportunity to think that I was anything other than heterosexual.
I remember in high school when students first started coming out and breaking the mold. It made me question my sexuality. I mean, what could they see that I couldn't? This led me to my belief that heterosexuality and homosexuality just have to be on the same continuum- in other words, depending on the situation, "switching teams" is not as impossible as we think.
So, I've given it thought, definitely. Yet, at the end of the day I have to admit that men are the ones who make me go "eeee".
To whom have you disclosed your heterosexual tendencies? How did they react?: I'm sure anyone from close friends to professors to customers at my bakery are aware of my heterosexual tendencies, and I announce it freely. Perhaps just as freely as i discuss poop with you. [Side note: Token Asian Friend and I discuss our BM's quite frequently] These discussions can range from sexual encounters to whispers that the guy behind me has a nice ass.
I can't really remember anyone acting negatively, and i don't find myself molding my words or thoughts depending on the listener's sexuality. culture has been the biggest shaper of my ability to voice my heterosexual tendencies. being a minority in the white upper middle class culture of the u.s. has strangely encouraged me to speak out and be as open as possible with little consequence, or at least little consequence that i actually care about. yet my japanese culture has placed tape over my mouth. i will never ever ever ever feel welcome or comfortable to discuss my heterosexual tendencies with anyone who shares this culture with me, unless it is completely nonsexual or the target whom i am referring to is someone who is that unattainable, such as a boy band or a tv actor. in other words, i can say ichiro suzuki is cute (and he is, you should look him up). yet i can't say that i'd like to sleep with the hot guy in our math class.
god. complicated.
Is it possible your heterosexuality is just a phase you may grow out of?: No, i don't think my heterosexuality is just a phase. i don't think any kind of sexuality is just a phase. the word phase makes me think of cell division. But, I go into weird phases where I like a certain type of guy. I think sophomore year I was into Italians. In high school I liked boys who wore baggy clothing from against all odds. Yeah, don't judge me.
What do you think caused your heterosexuality?: Hm. What caused my heterosexuality... let's see. The phrase "opposites attract"? What's the opposite of pink in this country? Blue. Hmmm... my parents telling me to marry a nice japanese boy. Oh, and disney films. Every princess needs a prince!
So the first step for me was the assumption. Then came the experiences that reaffirmed it for me. The increasing heart rate when I first held a boy's hand my first kiss that made me feel like i was flying, and my boyfriend now, who is just wonderful.
What would it be like if i grew up in some weird twisted world that actually encouraged different types of sexuality? We'll never know.
Special thanks to Token Asian Friend for her courage and insight!
*Questions taken from the Heterosexuality Questionnaire, Attributed to Martin Rochlin, PhD, January 1977*
-Harvey
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