Interview with an Ally: Dfred

Name: Dfred
Age: 22
Race/Ethnicity: White, Caucasian American :)
Gender: Male
Religion: My god resides in my conscience, and no one religion can contain that.

When and how did you first decide you were a heterosexual?: I decided I was heterosexual when I was maybe 20 years old. I had always believed I was straight, but I struggled for years with the possibility of being Bi-Sexual or maybe Queer/Questioning. I also battled with issues of masculinity. It wasn't until I pin-pointed why I liked who I was and how that translated to why I love, treat, and feel the way I do about women. 

To whom have you disclosed your heterosexual tendencies? How did they react?: I have disclosed my tendencies to few people actually. I prefer to live in a bit of an ambiguous way. My type of masculinity calls for treating people equally...I guess I just format how I flirt with women sexually and with men professionally. "People Pleasing" v. "People Pleasuring"... :)

Is it possible your heterosexuality is just a phase you may grow out of?: My sexuality cannot be a phase, but the way I present it certainly can. I will always question my sexuality. I believe I'm attracted to people, and not just genders/sexualities. I feel as though I can only be truly sexually involved with women, but that never limits the flexibility I am capable of. For instance, if I needed to I could be intimate with a man, like in the case of a performance/play, or if the event arose....can't see what that would mean(maybe the right person). But I know I have the capacity to show romantic affection. What it comes down to is that I can only foresee myself in a committed relationship or marriage to a woman. I personally would prefer to take advantage of my heterosexual tendencies, in my plans to raise a family with a woman to whom I am physically and spiritually connected. 

What do you think caused your heterosexuality?: Frankly, I know that I was born heterosexual...or rather I was born more heterosexual than anything else. My upbringing taught me to love all people, and to treat people as equals. I may stray from this at times, as strain is apt to occur, but I know that my own personal batch of heterosexuality comes from within. I struggled all of my life to live the way that I have chosen to. I know for a fact that my parents wish I would have taken an easier route. But alas. I think for myself, and I always have. Oh and being attracted to women helped a little as well :)

Special thanks to Dfred for his courage and insight!

*Questions taken from the Heterosexuality Questionnaire, Attributed to Martin Rochlin, PhD, January 1977*

-Harvey