Interview with an Ally: Biancaneve

Name: Biancaneve


Age: 21


Race/Ethnicity: White. My ancestors are not from the Caucus Islands.

Gender: Girl

Sex: Female

Religion: Jewish

Social Class: Between lower middle class and working class. Neither of my parents finished college.

Disability Status: not disabled

When and how did you first decide you were a heterosexual?: Being heterosexual was not something I thought about growing up.  I always wanted the girls in my class to like me, so that meant liking boys.  It wasn't until I was older that I thought about it and realized that I was attracted to boys not because my friends were, but because I actually liked them.  My parents used to wonder whether or not I was homosexual, since I never discussed boys with them, but in reality I'm just a very private person.  My mother did make a point throughout my youth of telling me that I could date anyone, regardless of gender, as long as that person was close to my age.  I think knowing that I would be accepted as any sexual orientation made it easier to think about whether I liked girls or not at a younger age, and to discover that I did not.

To whom have you disclosed your heterosexual tendencies? How did they react?: I have disclosed my heterosexual tendencies to my friends and family.  My parents were relieved when I started dating boys, but I know that they would have been okay with me dating girls as well.  My friends expected my heterosexuality.

Have you tried an alternative to heterosexuality?: During my sophomore year of college, one of my close female friends and I went through a period of time when we were both single and would make out at parties.  She always said it was to keep creepy men away from us, but I think it was because we were both curious, single, and bored with the same routine week after week.  Kissing her was like kissing a man I was not attracted to.  It was pleasant, as most kisses are, but it wasn't anything special, like when you share that moment with someone you truly like.

Is it possible your heterosexuality is just a phase you may grow out of?: No, I don't believe so.  Although I think the female body is beautiful in its form, I don't see myself ever dating or settling down with a woman.

What do you think caused your heterosexuality?: Everything.  Growing up in a heteronormative environment, seeing my parents and grandparents have successful heterosexual relationships, romantic comedies; everything I was exposed to from the time I was born helped shape me into the being I am today.  I don't think I would have turned out differently if the media had exposed me to homosexual images early on in life, but the prevalence of heterosexuality definitely made me see it as the "thing to do," so to speak.

Special thanks to Biancaneve for her courage and insight!

*Questions taken from the Heterosexuality Questionnaire, Attributed to Martin Rochlin, PhD, January 1977*

If you have some time and feel like some good ol' fashioned introspection, please take our survey here.  All responses from heterosexual allies are more than welcome.


-Harvey